“A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death, which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.”
― Jerry Seinfield
This statement is true. Most people would rather be dead than have to speak in front of an audience. And I get it. It’s terrifying to have dozens, sometimes hundreds of eyes focused on you. You’re vulnerable, exposed even. What if you stumble or forget your lines? What if you say the wrong thing?
The single most popular question I get asked by people who have to give a speech or perform in public – adults and children alike – is how can I calm my nerves?
Firstly, we need to remember that nerves are normal. Being nervous can even be beneficial to a performance – it often makes what you are saying seem more sincere because people can see that you actually care. Being nervous also causes your adrenaline to rise, which in turn ramps up your energy and can bring liveliness and enthusiasm to your performance. Being nervous is not always a bad thing. We really just need to reduce the level of nervousness so that it’s not going to interfere with your speaking skills. And so you aren’t wishing you were dead instead of speaking in public!
Here are a few simple strategies to help you reduce your nerves.
1. The first step to calming your nerves is to feel prepared. The more prepared you are, the less nervous you will be. It’s hard to imagine speaking in front of a large group of people if it’s not something you do often, which is why practice is so important; it helps make the situation feel a little more familiar. So practice your speech often, and to an audience – a friend, your dog, your parents… Basically anyone who will listen (or at least pretend to). Two things will happen if you do this. Firstly, you will become very familiar with your speech, which is empowering when you stand on that stage. Secondly, you will begin to feel more familiar with the concept of speaking to people, engaging them, connecting with them, without them speaking back.
2. BREATHE. Breathe breathe breathe breathe breathe. It has been scientifically proven that taking slow, deep, controlled breaths when you feel anxious can make you calmer and keep you calm. Before your speech, take 10 – 20 deep breaths into your diaphragm (just below your rib cage) and continue to breathe throughout your speech. If you start feeling nervous, take a moment and breathe. If nothing else, the audience will appreciate the pause.
3. Use palm cards (or rather, a palm card). Often there is fear associated with forgetting your words or stumbling. There is nothing wrong with using a palm card! Of course, I always encourage my students to go bare, but if you’re nervous it is a good safety blanket. But please, PLEASE do not write out your speech word for word. Just a few key points to help jog your memory are all you need. ONE card is best so that you don’t have to start shuffling through cards if you lose your spot. I have also had students write mantras on their palm card, or draw smiley faces, just a little reminder each time you look down that you’re doing well. We also often worry that people can see we are nervous and shaking hands are a big give away. Holding palm cards hides the shakes and helps you feel comfortable using your hands. (You can see my blog post on how to use your hands for more insight)
4. Wear a crown. Before you step into the spotlight take a few moments to do this simple exercise. Close your eyes and envision yourself as a king or queen Take a deeeeep breath. Drop your head on the out breath and let it hang for a moment. Then place an imaginary crown on your head and lift it up high. Open your eyes and keep your head UP so that the crown does not fall off. Tell yourself you are a king/queen! This may sound silly, but trust me, it works to give you a little extra confidence.
